Ron Paul has no Surname Shock

For immediate release:Who is Ron-Paul?

(ACPA-Des Moines) The Republican Presidential primaries have been thrown wide open following the shock admission by Ron Paul that he has no last name.

The candidate previously known as Paul In a short statement, the candidate previously known as Mr. Paul, announced that he had known for many years that he only had two first names adding, "I never knew my own last name and I don't think it matters. It's a private issue."

However, a statement from the Federal Election Commission, (FEC), stated that the matter was far more serious than Ron-Paul would have people believe. The FEC states that unless Ron-Paul can secure a last name, he will have to drop out of the Presidential Elections because the ballot paper requires that the candidate's last name be listed.

What's in a name?

They also added that an investigation will be started to establish if Ron-Paul was elected in error to the US Congress. If that is the case he will be dismissed and forced to pay back salary and benefits earned.

Suggestions for a new last name for Ron-Paul are being considered. A popular choice appears to be the bizarre last name "Paul", although the ballot paper friendly "Aaaaaa" is also hotly tipped. His campaign team are currently taking suggestions by email.

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney issued a statement confirming that he doesn't have a first name, adding, "Golly, yes, I was named after a glove. But gee-whiz, I only need a last name to be on the ballot. Anyway being a Mormon, with a plastic personality, that's probably a bigger problem."

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