Juan Mc Cane Attacks his Right Wing critics.
For immediate release: No Walking Sticks Needed
(ACPA-Phoenix) 71 year old Republican Presidential hopeful Juan McCane denied to a packed press conference that he his an ageing illegal immigrant loving liberal. He insists that right wing conservative talk show hosts who are attacking him are simply bitter because they were previously conned by the "compassionate conservative" lie.
Rush Limbaugh is demanding that McCane commit to "arrest and deport all illegal immigrants, including those who are driving down the cost of living here by providing a pool of cheap labor across every industry".
Meanwhile, Ann Coulter, the right wing's Amy Goodman, has accused McCane of being a Socialist and suggested that he "believes in the liberal folly of global warming and also wants to overturn the 4th amendment constitutional right to destroy the environment and kill things".
Topping off the criticism Swift Boat Veterans for the Truth attacked his war-hero status claiming that he lived it up it in the Hanoi Hilton while his comrades were stuck in the jungle.
However, Juan was vigorously defended by his 123 year old grandmother and 146 year old great-grandmother who both stood beside him. "I still remember when he came home from elementary school and insisted that a surge into Normandy was the only way to win" said gray haired and elegant Great-Grandmother McCane.
McCane finished with some straight talk for his critics, "Screw you my talk show friends, there are no walking sticks in this family. You're just jealous because my wife is a hottie".