Internet Disaster Expected if Paul Quits

For Immediate Release:Bandwidth Tsunami Feared

(ACPA-San Francisco) Huge damage is expected to be caused to the US Internet by dispirited supporters of Ron Paul, should the candidate end his campaign in the days ahead.

goodbye ron, hello boring ideas Within minutes of any dramatic announcement from paul, a tsunami of internet bandwidth is expected to be released by millions of his supporters. the wave will start with the closure of ron paul discussion groups but is expected to quickly move on to blogsites, culminating in the inevitable release of thousands of domain names.

Initial damage is expected up and down the east coast where major internet bit pipes will be flooded with the tossed aside terabytes of freed up storage. empty email boxes will be able to absorb some of the bandwidth but fema, who are making emergency preparations, are begging the public to help. "please, please empty all your email folders to free up space" urged a fema it director in a press release "otherwise your hard disc is liable to be breached by the escaping bandwidth."

Another FEMA official stated "this perfect storm of capacity release has never happened before and no-one is really sure what will happen, but we are worried that information will be flowing so fast you wont be able to read your emails quickly enough".

But while the highways of cyberspace will be the main victim, ironically the highways of the real world are also expected to suffer huge traffic jams as thousands of paul supporters start going back to their day jobs.

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