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Snooker's Nice Guy "Hurricane" Higgins dropped from charity event

For immediate release: Bad Break

(ACPA-Belfast) Legendary former world snooker champion Alex "Hurricane" Higgins has been dropped from another charity event after he complimented a referee and made a ten-year old boy smile from ear to ear.

The exemplary behaviour occurred during a recent exhibition match against another previous champion, Steve "Interesting" Davis. During the game, Higgins thanked the crowd for supporting him in his retirement, offered to give free lessons to an unruly fan, and later promised the referee that he would "stick his cue in the rack carefully."

Towards the end of the game, when a ten-year old boy caused a distraction, Higgins proclaimed, "Never mind son, I don't mind missing that pot, so long as you enjoy the game," making the young boy beam with excitement.

"He behaved like a total gentleman," confirmed referee Martin Williams. "At one stage, he complimented me for my accurate score keeping, and later apologized to fans for making them passively smoke."

However, this newly discovered propriety has come with surprising consequences. Higgins was dropped yesterday, from a series of upcoming charity games planned by the Millwall Snooker Club. A disappointed club spokesman announced that he was "not paying good money for decorum and finesse. If he's not drunk or hitting someone in the head with a billiard ball, he's not going to attract much crowd around here."

This is Higgins' third cancellation in as many days and there are concerns that he faces financial ruin if the seemly behaviour continues. Higgins, who was helping out an animal shelter when he heard the latest news, promised he would "try to be more belligerent next time." He then excused himself declaring "If you don't mind, I have a kitten who needs stroking."