Hitchens Death Bed Conversion That NY Mosque Will Ireland abolish Murphy's Law?

Atlanta Woman Admits To Secretly Enjoying PBS Pledge Marathons

(ACPA-Atlanta, GA) It's PBS pledge week again and not a day too soon for pledge week lover Betty Wyland, 54, of Atlanta. The Georgia divorcee confessed her secret passion in a recent interview with reporter Greg Baines of the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

"Oh the excitement of it all - will there be enough pledges to get the matching gift? Will they meet the hourly target with only ten minutes to go? I'm on the edge of my sofa all week long."

 fairuse of Photo Betty's love for pledge week goes back several years and started during "the worst week of my life" when her husband left her for his secretary and her dog got eaten by a coyote. "Poor little poochie, he had no chance, ending up as lunch like that, it was awful. Well, I turned on the TV and there was Deepak Chopra telling me how quantum molecules rubbing together were causing all my sadness and that they needed to be split apart. I realized he was talking about my husband - we were just mismatched nuclearly. I'm much happier now with a cat and I kept the house too, which was nice."

Of all the pledge weeks, Betty's favorite is definitely the Fall pledge marathon. "There are 4 every year you know and I look forward to each of them but Fall pledge week is special. The long hot summer is over and I love to sit there with my sweet tea and watch those dreamy Irish boys singing."

"An hour later and it's over to the radio to hear Steve Inskeep crawling prostrate on the floor begging for pledges. After that, David Green says something sad about Russia or Africa and I just start tearing up until Wayne Dyer comes on the TV explaining how I'm in charge of my own destiny. It's a roller-coaster of emotion!"

Betty is also an expert on the different pledge levels. "There's a free sweatshirt at the $120 level and the $60 level mug is also very nice, don't you think?"

But it's not just pledge week that Betty loves. She is a complete PBS devotee. Every evening she sits down to Jeffrey Brown and Gwen Ifill. "First, I enjoy the sponsor messages about foundations and car companies. They're not commercials you know, just messages, that's why PBS is so much better. Then there's that nice introduction music which I like to tape and listen to when I've finished watching my tapes of past pledge weeks."

As far as donations go, Betty recommends that supporters contribute at the dollar level they are most comfortable. For Betty that level is absolutely nothing, year after year. Unlike most viewers though, Betty has a good excuse: "If I give them money, they might stop pledge week! I wouldn't want that now would I?"

Other News

White couple accidentally visit Martin Luther King Memorial in Atlanta

Atlanta Panics as Russians Invade Georgia

It's confederate history month!

Taliban Wives furious with husbands

Alabama To Introduce "Hoodies For Hispanics" Program

Ireland 40 shades of Green Crisis

or Click here for all our Satire News Stories

Thank you for visiting!