Man Wins $100K Betting on Iraq War Deaths
For immediate release: War profits not just for Big Business Anymore
(ACPA-Nevada) Las Vegas resident and inveterate gambler Karl Swift won $100,000 by successfully betting that the 4000th Iraq War Death would be in March 2008. Swift, a self employed painting contractor, was being hailed a betting genius by other customers who gave him a heroes welcome when he turned up at his bookies to collect the winnings.
Speaking to local reporters, Swift admitted that like "red blooded Americans everywhere," he just loved to gamble on "football spreads, baseball games, horses - anything competitive and I'll bet on it. And with my Vietnam experience, I have a lot of understanding of pointless wars so I suppose that gave me an edge."
But it was not all good news from Swift who admitted that he lost a lot by betting there was WMD in Iraq. "You know," admitted Swift, "a guy gave me a tip, tells me it's a sure thing, but I lost my shirt."
Sheep Heard Bleating
Some local residents though were not happy and thought the whole thing to be very offensive. "How can someone bet on such a thing," said one shocked bystander. But Swift was unrepentant. "Haliburton, that's Dick Cheney's company, Blackwater, bullet makers, they have all made millions on the backs of these same dead Americans, why can't the little guy get a bit for once? "
"Anyway those same people probably voted for George Bush, not once but twice so they need to take a long hard look at themselves before they pick on me."
He soon cheered up again when he was asked about future war bets. "Sure, I got a great tip about a new war, so good that I didn't just stroll to my bookie, I ran!"
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