Irish PM to Resign and Take Over in Zimbabwe
For immediate release: Taoiseach Shock
(ACPA-Dublin) Irish Prime Minister, Bertie Ahern, has announced that he will resign and move to Zimbabwe to take up the position soon to be vacated by President Robert Mugabe.
Angrily denying that the move to Zimbabwe is related to the lack of an extradition treaty between the two countries, he stated that he was simply "tired of the rain and cold weather in Ireland, it's a tribulation to live here really."
He then proudly noted that he had helped take the Irish Banana Republic and turn it into a modern country adding, "hopefully I can do the same in Zimbabwe."
Confident in his ability to get the President's job, he stated that "it shouldn't take much to get elected down there, and I have just discovered some extra cash so that should be enough to secure the new job."
In a magnanimous move, Ahern stated he intended to fulfill a previous commitment to speak to the joint US Houses of Congress in late April before his resignation is formalized.
"Its rather embarrassing to go to speak in such a poor country as my last political act," he said but he acknowledged that he cant overlook "those poor people without health care, a third world currency and a crazy man for leader."
"I hope to be able to give them some economic advice on how to get back on parity with both Euros and Zimbabwean Brownbacks. I might also be able to give some tips on handling Iraq although that place is a lot messier than anything I saw in Northern Ireland."
Zimbabweans expressed uncertainty over the move. "Who is this Bertie?" asked one street-vendor. "Is he the one from Sesame Street? I think he could make a fine leader here".
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