An L. A. Dogs' Lament
by A. Canis
They want to come and neuter us,
Cut testicles or uterus.
They say it will reduce the fights,
But what about our basic rights
To be ourselves as we were born
Without our bodies ripped and torn,
Since we did not commit a crime--
We've never littered, not one time.
Our owners are responsible
And find it reprehensible
That they are punished anyway
With massive fees that they must pay
To keep us safe and still intact
Despite the overriding fact
That other owners' carelessness
Has caused the population mess.
So charge the fees to them instead,
A fine for puppies by the head;
Then selling puppies will not be
A profit-making industry.
So scour ads and internet
And help allay the shelter debt
While filling owners with regret,
So they won't sell another pet.
And then the problem will be solved
With good pet owners now absolved
And good dogs spared the surgery
And left as we were meant to be.
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