Capitalism Thriving in Iraq
For Immediate Release: After the success of Democracy Comes Capitalism!
(ACPA-Atlanta) US Vice President Cheney today announced that there is definitive evidence of a strong rise in Capitalism in Iraq since the introduction of democracy by the United States. "Many new businesses have appeared, businesses that did not exist before freedom was achieved by the previously oppressed people," he stated.
Removing State Monopolies
Cheney noted by way of example that the buying and selling of weapons, previously a state controlled monopoly, has
now successfully been privatized. As would be expected, this releasing of pent up demand has lead to many new
supply sources presenting themselves to the market. "Who would have thought," asked the VP,
"that Iraqis would cherish the right to bear arms as much as we do. We have so much more in common with them, although I'm sure they won't be shooting their
friends in the face like I do!"
Tourism
Enjoying the fruits of the recent boom, 2 million Iraqis have exercised their new rights to freedom of movement
and tourism is booming as people leave their homes for extended vacations. Many are even trying overseas living
for a while. "A change is as good as a rest," said the VP "and we see many people wanting a change from the oppressive Baghdad summer heat - it's just like DC in July," he said. Brimming with enthusiasm he continued, "its wonderful they have the freedom to take off on short notice for a tour of the region."
Property Investment
With so many jobs for caterers and tour guides for the traveling masses, there is also a tremendous opportunity for newly
prosperous Iraqis to invest in overseas property. The VP noted that several of his friends who have profited
from the recent investment in Iraq are strongly recommending investing
in Jordanian property, where many Iraqis are taking extended vacations thanks to their new found prosperity.
"Just like the Brits flock to Spain and Americans try Cancun, Iraqis has taken to Jordan and property values are going up rapidly," said an enthusiastic Cheney. "The Iraqi tourists make great visitors, willing to pay high rents and never letting occasional overcrowding get in the way of enjoying their visit to Amman. We expect this tourism and property boom to continue for years to come as Iraqis continues to prosper," said the VP.
Construction
The VP also pointed out that Construction is booming across Iraq and growth shows no sign of letting up as a frenzy of building, rebuilding and remodeling continues. "Some owners are remodeling the same unit more than once - looks like they are trying to outdo their neighbors, a little Sunni-Shiite rivalry no doubt," said Mr. Cheney.
Women Owned Businesses
"And who would have thought that women owned businesses would thrive so soon after the arrival of democracy and freedom," continued the VP in an upbeat mood. "We thought Iraqi women would be too conservative to get involved with the new economy but we were wrong - and we don't mind admitting it when we are wrong."
Mr. Cheney pointed to strong statistical data showing many women who previously were
content to stay home and mind their children, are now choosing to go out and earn money, often taking night work after their children go to sleep.
Just as welfare reform in the US removed "those societal crutches that allowed lazy mothers to opt out of work, recent events have encouraged women to get involved in the economy."
Cheney quoted one successful entrepreneur who has started her own "personal services" business. She told Al Jazeera journalist Afif Sarhan, "When I came home with some food I had bought from that money and saw my children screaming of happiness, I discovered that honor and personal dignity is insignificant compared to the hunger of my children."
A Vacation to Baghdad
In conclusion Cheney reiterated that, "We are very proud to report the latest news from Iraq. The people of the US knew we were taking a leap of faith in liberating Iraq and now that we have succeeded in bringing democracy and prosperity we can look forward to seeing the region stabilize and grow in the years ahead. Perhaps now is the time to stop putting off that vacation to Iraq you had been thinking about," concluded the much loved US VP.
Read how Offensive Danish Cartoons lead to Rioting
or Click here for all our Satire News Stories
Thanks for visiting!