NRA Condemns Massacres
For immediate release: Dum Dum and Dumber
(ACPA-Fairfax VA) The National Rifle Association today issued a statement concerning the recent series of high profile massacres that have made the US headlines.
In a sensitively worded statement the group expressed its deep regret at the senseless waste of bullets and related confiscation of several perfectly working firearms. "Like all gun owners we grieve these losses and the bad publicity this gives us. We are very sorry about that".
The statement continued with a call for increased production of armaments to make up for the losses and a demand that the confiscated weapons be released as soon as investigations are complete. "It's against the constitution to hold them for a day longer than needed."
The organization, with 3 million members nationally, has campaigned for years to allow mentally disturbed Americans exercise their right to freedom of expression of their delusions. The statement concluded with a call for a rally outside the doors of Smyrna Georgia gun maker Glock. We'll see you there!
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