Republican Relief At First New Idea Of 2010
(ACPA-Washington, DC) There was widespread relief among Republican party activists and grass roots members, when the party leadership announced they have come up with their first new idea of 2009. The announcement comes after months of bashing Obama to cover up for a complete lack of anything useful to say, and members were starting to despair that the party was teetering on the brink of boorish irrelevancy.
The Republicans, whose most recent road building suggestion for the stimulus bill was rejected, have been struggling for several months to find a voice. "I was worried that we might go a whole year without anything substantive to say, but now with this new idea, we are back!" exclaimed one excited party member from Indiana.
Speaking on Fox News, commentator Karl Rove confirmed the existence of the new idea to Sean Hannity.
Sean:"Karl , is it true that the party has a new idea?"
Karl: "Yes Sean, it is true, and it's certainly a welcome development, even I have some integrity, you know."
Sean: "You do, Karl? Oh that's great. Now, what would you advise the party leaders to do with their new idea?"
Karl: "Well Sean, I think we need to look at it closely and...."
Sean: "Sorry Karl, but I have to interrupt, is it a better idea than opposing that woman Judge because she is a nig..sorry, sorry, I meant to say spic."
Karl: "I would say so, yes."
Sean: "Better than telling people to buy guns to stop the fascist UN taking over the USA?"
Sean: "And better than being against Obama's economic plans? Questioning his citizenship? Opposing health care reform?"
Karl: "Yes, yes and yes, this really is a good idea."
Sean: "Great stuff, Karl. Hey, did I ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?"
Karl: "Eh, no, Sean, I don't think that you have."
Sean:"Oh no? Not even at that fundraiser last year?"
Karl: "Sean, I really don't think so ...."
Sean: "Alright then Karl, thanks for coming on my show, I mean thanks for being on the show, that is, of course."
The Republicans have now written down their idea and it is being stored in Al Gore's unused lock-box for safekeeping. It will be used, "at a time and place yet be decided," according to a source from the Republican leadership.
Apology: Since publishing the above piece, we have received several emails from members of the Gay community, complaining about the use of cheap, homo-erotic innuendo in this report. We admit this was a poorly considered ploy. We apologize to all members of the Gay community, and assure you that we did not intend to compare you to supporters of the Republican party.
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