Senator Craig to Visit Iran!
For Immediate release: New Senator Craig Surprise
(ACPA) Anti-Gay Rights Crusader, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, held a press conference today to announce he will embark on a trip to Iran, in order to receive a series of blood transfusions.
Noting the recent statements from President Ahmadinejad that, "there are no homosexuals in Iran because of our better DNA," he hopes that the transfusions from select Iranian Males will remove any possible trace of gayness he might inadvertently have picked up through working near liberals in Congress.
To better ensure his safety, the Senator will avoid airports and intends to travel on a US Navy Destroyer. "Spending several weeks with sailors will harden my zeal and let me experience military issues at first hand." he explained.
The Senator also intends to take time out to tackle the Nuclear Question.
"It's incredible how long the Iranians have been in denial on this issue, they have stonewalled and tap-danced for too long. I'm looking forward to looking them in the eye and if they are lying, we are going to blow them away."
Aside from the sailors, Craig will be accompanied by a young interpreter, "who will be with me at all times to provide translation services."
Meanwhile reports of a flashing red-light visible from the space station have been attributed to a faulty Iranian Gadar System. "The Iranians need to declare all their weapons systems," stated the Senator.