For Immediate release: Writer confirms Health Rumors
(ACPA-Atlanta) After weeks of rumours in Atlanta social circles, Ronald Pecorry, Editor of the website "Satire and Comment"
, went on record today with a statement on his health condition.
Speaking to a group of supporters in mid-town Atlanta an ashen-faced Pecorry announced, "I can indeed confirm the rumours. I am MPB positive and have been for some time. Symptoms first showed up hours after a brief dalliance with a hairdresser in a North Atlanta Suburb, something for which I will forever be ashamed. There is no doubt I have early-onset MPB."
Wiping back tears, Pecorry told the hushed crowd, "I am particularly grateful to my wife for her steadfast support. Many women would have fled by now but she has stuck by me. I know that the weeks ahead are going to be difficult, especially as my condition deteriorates."
Pecorry added that he is looking into treatment options, including a guru in India who is apparently performing wonders, although he privately admitted the prognosis is not good.
"At this time I want to thank all our readers and supporters whose letters and emails have been a great source of comfort as I come to terms with this terrible affliction."
Despite the grave concern over his condition, "Satire & Comment" is delighted to confirm that Pecorry will continue with his duties as Editor and all at the site wish him well on the journey to acceptance.
"I'm taking inspiration from fellow Atlanta-resident Elton John," said Pecorry, "and the bravery he has shown in his own solitary fight against Male Pattern Baldness. I know I'm not alone in my suffering and shame."
Despite that hopeful thought Pecorry, lapsed back into gloom concluding, "my greatest fear though is for the future- to paraphrase Shelley, "when MPB comes, can ED be far behind? "