Whites to be rounded up into concentration camps called suburbs
A Glenn Beck special report: imminent threat to white culture
"Friends, it's getting worse."
"Our white culture is under attack!"
"Listen closely, my fellow conservatives, did you know that since the sixties, black activists have been secretly herding white people into concentration camps called suburbs? And now, with Obama as president, be warned friends, the rounding up is starting to accelerate. Your country needs you to buy more guns and to buy them now!"
"You've seen the billboards: 'Work makes you Free' and 'Save while you Spend'. Under those false promises wretched whites have become slaves, forced to compete viciously all day against each other, to pay for things they don't need or want."
"Every trace of our white culture is going to be lost and soon sordid affairs with wife swapping will be the norm - and that's not good, by the way."
"The suburban trap will be sprung on YOU one day, friends, so be warned: maybe a black child will go to school with your children and say something seemingly innocent like, "This is a real nice school, I think I'll come every day." Then suddenly, you're locked in your sedan and you're driving north!"
"Before you know it, you've been trapped there for twenty years, with nothing to show for it except a perfectly manicured patch of grass, a dozen Thomas Kincade paintings and a prescription for erectile dysfunction. Oh the humanity, the pain of it, oh it's too much to bear."
Caller Tim from North Florida:
"I get up one pointless day after the other, forced to do work I hate. I eat tasteless food from a microwave, before falling asleep on a couch. Please, get me out of here!!"
Caller: Tom from Georgia:
"Please, help me, before my wife is forced to buy hundreds of useless knick-knacks."
Glenn:
"Thanks, callers. Friends, do you ever look back to that time in our history when the President was white? Can you still remember what it was like when the most beautiful woman in the world wasn't Halle Berry? It's all the black man's fault! Damn you Obama and your freedom hating liberals. Damn you France. Damn you aaaallll!"
(Sniffles, crying, and fade out to commercials.)
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