Bin Laden announces a run for US President
December 2007. For Immediate release: Election Race Surprise
(ACPA-Tora Bora) Osama Bin Laden has announced the creation of an exploratory committee to investigate the viability of a run for the US Presidency. The move ended weeks of mounting speculation that the bearded terrorist was considering putting terrorism behind him and joining mainstream politics.
Capitalizing on the unwillingness of major Republican and Democratic candidates to oppose the war in Iraq, Bin laden believes the timing is right for an "End the War in Iraq" candidate.
A single issue candidate is generally not viewed as being viable but given the National anti-war sentiment and the desperation to get out of Iraq, pundits speculate he may have a chance, provided he can overcome his image as a mass murderer and backward cave dweller.
This might not be as difficult as it sounds given the number of wars started by the average US President...and is Texas really more advanced than Tora Bora?
As for his capability to be President, pundits admit that while it seems inflammatory to compare Bin Laden to Bush (Bush being responsible for the deaths of far more innocent civilians), Bin Laden is really quite similar to the current President. Both avoided full on military confrontation and ran away when the going got tough, both come from wealthy backgrounds and both are despised worldwide.
Bin Laden is currently undecided on which party to look for a nomination. On one hand his war mongering policies generally make him attractive as a Republican, but his cave dwelling, low carbon-emission way of life appeals to the mainly pro-environment Democratic base.
Meanwhile Mohammed, the famous Sudanese Teddy Bear, has confirmed he will complete the ticket as the Vice Presidential candidate. If elected he would be the first stuffed animal in the White House, assuming you don't count Al Gore.
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