For immediate release: Pakistan Problems
(ACPA-Karachi) The President of Pakistan has declared a State of Emergency and arrested thousands of peaceful protestors. The move comes in advance of a Supreme Court judgment that may not confirm his election as President. Unfortunately for the President, the Pakistani Supreme Court does not rubber stamp Presidential elections, unlike the US version, where the son of a previous President can dutifully get crowned.
In reaction to the events, analysts have expressed deep concern that the situation could lead Pakistan to become a failed state, with Al-Qaeda terrorists roaming around freely and Islamic fundamentalists causing havoc in the streets.
Other commentators believe this would be an improvement for Pakistan, a country whose greatest achievement since being founded by Jinnah in 1948 has been the record-beating number of military coups and executions of previous leaders.
Pakistan's other notable achievement has been the development of Britain's economy through the export of highly qualified doctors, engineers and low-wage workers.
In Lahore, Pakistan's second largest city, fundamentalists took the opportunity to call for the city's name to be changed. Several placards objecting to its historical naming after a colonial French prostitute, called for the new name to be "Lachaddoor". Other name change fanatics want Islamabad to be renamed Islamisnotsobad.
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